No Complaints Today …. Take the 21 day challenge.

 Photo by Andréia

A few weeks ago, my husband and I, along with our 2 year old son traveled to Maryland to visit my brother and his family. My sister-in-law and I have had a very close relationship for a number of years. We generally only see each other two or three times a year, but we pepper the time in-between with calls a couple of times a month. Those calls usually last two hours, if not longer.

With the arrival of our son and my nieces reaching their tween years, it seems that those conversations have dwindled, not only in occurrence but in length. I knew we had a lot to catching up to do once we got together.

I was so excited to see everyone, despite spending a day in the car with a toddler who had never been on a long road trip. Upon arrival and after all the oohing and awing over how much our son had grown, I started talking. I think I talked non-stop for two hours. As we were getting ready for dinner, it struck me that my conversations so far were full of complaints. In my own defense, she is the one that I usually vent to and I had missed out on a lot of venting but it just didn’t feel good. I didn’t want our visit to be filled with negativity. I made an effort to be more aware of what I was saying and tried to curb my complaining.

Last week as I was perusing Tim Ferris’s blog, I somehow stumbled upon a post: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment. In his post he discussed Will Bowen,  a Kansas City minister who designed a purple rubber bracelet to aide in eliminating complaining. Rev. Bowen is of the opinion that complaining is habitual and that scientists believe it takes 21 days of concerted effort to break a habit.

Rev. Bowen presented a challenge to his congregation: go 21 days without complaining. Each time they complained, they had to switch the bracelet to their other wrist and start again from day 0.

Rev. Bown’s Suggested Rules

1. Begin to wear the bracelet, on either wrist.
2. When you catch yourself complaining, gossiping or criticizing (it’s ok, everyone does) move the bracelet to the other arm and begin again.
3. If you hear someone else who is wearing a bracelet complain, you may point out their need to switch the bracelet to the other arm; BUT if you’re going to do this, you must move your bracelet first!
4. Stay with it. It may take many months but when you reach 21 days you will find that your entire life is happier, more loving and more enjoyable.

I decided to take the challenge. The no-complaint bracelets were on backorder. I really didn’t need “that” particular bracelet in order to attempt to go “complaint free”. Remembering I had a couple of rubber bracelets, I pulled them out. I had the perfect bracelet for this challenge. One that would provide additional motivation - my For This Child (an adoption agency) silver bracelet.

If you caught it earlier in this post, I mentioned the “arrival” of our son instead of “birth”. My husband and I are the very proud parents of a beautiful and high spirited little boy that we adopted from Guatemala. He is the light and center of our universe. After a very long process, we returned from Guatemala in the early morning hours on Thanksgiving Day 2006 with our precious bundle. He was just 6 months old. It was definitely a day of thanksgiving for our entire family. Raising this child gives me added motivation to be complaint-free. When I master this task, I will be able to give him a great gift.

While this may seem like a personal issue, it definitely spills over into your business and interaction with clients, colleagues and vendors. Your attitude and spirit impact those you deal with daily. You spend more time working in and on your business than you do with your family and friends.

It probably affects your business more than you are aware and will eventually impact your bottom line. Objectively, look at those that you deal with daily. Do you have a client that is always curt with you? Is there a vendor that you avoid calling because you never know what kind of mood he’s in? Now look at how others see you? Do your clients see your outlook as positive or negative? 

The Point

Your everyday conversations and interactions reflect on your business. If you are always complaining, you will not be able to realize that opportunities that are being presented that will help you achieve success.

Take the challenge, what do you have to lose. Simply start today. You can design your own guidelines and definitions of what is complaining. You don’t need a special bracelet, you can even use a rubber band.  Include a spouse, friend or colleague to help keep you on track. Trust me, my husband (who hasn’t taken the challenge yet) has truly enjoyed making me aware of any complaints I voice.

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